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Train

While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?"

The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, "Another train."

Christmas Shopping..

The judge asked the defendant what he was charged with.

"Doing my Christmas shopping early," was the reply.

"That's not illegal!. How early were you shopping?"

"Before the store was open."

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The Wager..

A man walks to the bartender and bets $100 that he can piss into a shot glass placed on the opposite end of the bar and not spill a drop.

The bartender takes the bet and sets up the shot glass.

The man then starts pissing all over the bar, not even close the shot glass.

The bartender starts jumping up and down, yelling “Yahoo!”

Another man at the back of the bar suddenly grabs a chair and, swearing loudly, smashes it against the wall.

The bartender says, “What’s with him?”

The man replies, “Oh, I just bet him a thousand dollars that I could piss all over your bar and make you happy.”

.....

Looks like fun...

One day, a country boy, who liked the neighbor girl found himself lucky enough to be sitting with her on the top rail of the cattle pen.

As they watched a bull servicing a cow, he turned to her, with what he hoped was a suggestive look, and said, ‘That looks like it would be fun.”

She looked over at him, and replied, rather dubiously, “Well… she’s your cow.”